The Screen

The thing that is on my mind…

…the most these days is kids and screens.  I hate them! Screens, not kids… Anyway, hardly a day goes by in the past month that I haven't seen an article about how screen time is rotting kids brains; making them lazy, moody, and unimaginative.  And sadly, I see it first hand…in my own home.  I take them away and all of the sudden it's like a zombie invasion.  They wander around the house moaning, as if they don't know what to do with themselves.  What have I created???? Monsters, that's what!  It all started with the first computer I ever bought. When our oldest was about three I put her on it and introduced her to learning games.  Back then it was just an interactive cd-rom.  It was wildly successful.  She loved it and I did, too…because she was learning!  Win-win, right?! Well, I do believe it contributed to her being a successful reader and even a spelling bee champ.  But what really made the difference was…ready for it…*drum roll*…books!  How about that?  We read…a lot.  Sometimes at night, while tucking her in, I would lay on her bed reading to her and I would even start to doze off.  I read the same books over and over and over again.  Once in awhile, if I was in a hurry to wrap up the nighttime routine, I would skip over a page or two.  She caught on.  She never let me cheat.

But now, it's all about electronics.  iPhones, tablets, computers, smart t.v.'s….so. Many. Screens!  And I just want to get back to good ol' fashion books. I want a trip to the library to be an outing, a field trip, an adventure.  I don't want discipline to revolve around taking away a screen. I had this fantasy that learning could happen naturally and the screen could do the work.  That was lazy on my part.  And now, with a couple of my kids, books are the enemy.  Reading is apparently a punishment. I even heard one say to the other recently, "why are reading a book, it's Saturday".  As if reading was only for school hours!  What the heck????

So, where do we go from here?  They're not going to like it, but the screens are being taken away. Not entirely. I'm giving the older ones more freedom.  I like them to have a phone to contact us when they are away from home.  And we do still have t.v.'s.  I like watching movies just as much as they do.  But today when I saw that our couch has a worn spot from one kid sitting on it TOO MUCH, that tipped the scale just a little bit further.

There's groans, there's anger, there's frustration…but at the end of their childhood, they will not look back with regret and say, "I had a lousy childhood, my parents made took away my screens and I had to read books".

Words Matter

Let God be true but every man a liar... Romans 3:4

In others words, go by what the Bible says and do not cling to what man says.  Recently, I heard a worship leader say in the closing prayer of worship, "Lord, we are desperate for you." I couldn't help but get hung up on the word "desperate".  And why was I suddenly aware of that word?  I've heard it many times.  It's even in some classic worship songs.  But I felt the need to make a note to myself to go home and look up the word in my Bible.  As far as I could tell, the actual word is only mentioned twice. Once in Job and once in Isaiah

Do ye imagine to reprove words, and the speeches of one that is desperate, which are as wind? Job 6:26

In the day shalt thou make thy plant to grow, and in the morning shalt thou make thy seed to flourish: but the harvest shall be a heap in the day of grief and of desperate sorrow. Isaiah 17:11

Both verses are written with the Jews in mind, and neither one is used as a positive reference. The Apostle Paul never uses the word when addressing the church. This would contradict the fact that we are "complete in Him" (Colossians 2:10).  Further more, the definition of desperate is this:

des·per·ate

ˈdesp(ə)rət/

adjective

adjective: desperate

feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.

Just because we walk into a church or conference or Bible study or Sunday school, it does not mean we have to turn our brains off and just accept whatever is said.  This is fatal!  We are all without excuse.  The only way to combat ignorance is this:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:15

 And by study, it does not mean reading books *about* the Bible, listening to wrong doctrine, doing "5 minute daily devotions", etc. We must study God's word (pure and simple, perfectly preserved, unaltered) so that we can identify the errors of man! But don't just take my word for it, read it for yourself.

Life inside the NICU

It's a land flowing with breast milk and hand sanitizer. It's where people get excited about bowel movements and weight gain.  It's noisy, yet quiet. The only sound you really hear is the constant buzzing of monitor alarms going off.  

I sit there trying to tune out the conversations that happen on the other side of the curtain. As I feed my baby and marvel at her miniaturized toes I hear phrases like, "morphine drip" and "not going home till after Christmas". My heart sinks. I fight back tears and realize the struggle that so many parents are faced with.  I'm grateful that my struggle is not as bad as some. I'm humbled because my struggle is not as bad as some.

This place is a world all in its own.  These tiny humans have good days and bad, just like the rest of us, yet theirs is all about survival. None of us want to ask the question, "when", we just want to see our babies make it past another test of strength.  We know that day will come. And some of us hope that day will come.  Again...tears at the thought of any parent faced with that.

Tubes and wires everywhere.

Tiny takes on a whole new meaning.

Cecelia's moment in the spotlight.

I have not stepped outside in over a week, so I'm claiming this sunset last night for Cecelia and me!

Sometimes life does not go as planned.

I've been meaning to write this for a while, but life gets in the way. And now I'm forced into putting all that day to day stuff aside.  So here I am...34 weeks pregnant and on hospital bed rest, awaiting the birth of our FIFTH child.  I wasn't planning for my water t break a few days ago, but it did.

As I was saying, life doesn't always go as "planned". I wasn't planning on being a new mom again, while many of my friends are moving into the grandparents' stage. And, I certainly wasn't planning on being a "high-risk" patient, diagnosed with gestational diabetes and preparing for a baby to be sent straight to the NICU. 

I am a planner.  THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN! My daughter had her first swim meet this weekend, my husband needed to go on a business trip, I don't even know if there's food in the house! I didn't finish my "thank you" cards for all those precious ladies who blessed me with a baby shower. And I haven't even begun to prepare for baby! I didn't wash all the windows or shampoo the carpet, I didn't go room to room cleaning out junk and organizing (I realize this all sounds like the thoughts of a crazy person - but these are my crazy thoughts...) Suddenly, my family is left to fend for themselves, I'm strapped to a bed with tubes and wires, and I have no plan....

That's the vulnerable reality.  I've lost control over the situation.  And boy, do I like to be in control! But, as I am being viciously reminded, that's a downfall. And that's where faith needs to take over. There is a plan...and it's Christ's; to rely on His power, His promises, and His peace...and that's all that really matters. Everything else will come together. In fact, it already is. Amazing friends and family have come to the rescue (He is using them - and at the same time, reminding me that I don't have to do it all).  My little family is coming together as a team and pulling through. Yeah, it's uncomfortable for them, but they're doing it. And me...I'm here to decide if I will let my fears and worries take control, or will I sit back (I'm doing a lot of sitting) and just trust Christ, and appreciate the tender beauty that comes from all of this. 

As I write this, I look out the window to see snow gently falling. Christmas music flows through my headphones. It is a time of peace, not chaos.  It is my Savior's reminder that He is here to take over.  

And so I will let Him do just that. 

Tomorrow I will be induced. We will meet our baby girl. We will rejoice in the beauty of life; this gift of God...this early Christmas gift (who we still need to name!!!).

My one and only "bump" photo.

Forced relaxtion. I couldn't help but think of those photos people take of their feet when they're on vacation, with a pool or beach in the background. Well, here's my little "paradise"...puffy feet and these things on my legs to keep me from getting blood clots.

At least someone's happy to get popsicles!

There's a reason they call it "detox".

So, November came and went, and for some reason there seemed to be a whole lot of junk in my diet. It all started with the pie auction at church, then came my birthday, then came my daughter's birthday, then came Thanksgiving...plus eating out more than normal and SNACKING. The intake got to be overwhelming and I knew I needed to get back on track with healthy eating. Yes, I do splurge from time to time. I'm not a health nut freak. But by and large, I've developed a habit of eating way less processed foods and a lot more homemade and natural foods. 

With all that junk came the need to "cleanse", so I went with the Dr. Oz 3-day Detox. There's two sides to this whole detox business. Side one says that the modern day diet (especially in America) is so filled with chemicals and artificial ingredients that we are practically killing ourselves just by what we eat. Side two says that our bodies are designed to naturally rid us of the toxins we ingest and that detoxing is not necessary. I lean towards side one, of course. So, here's how the 3 days played out:

Day 1 - Morning went pretty easily. The drink tasted good; a little sour, but filling. The lunch drink was a little harder to swallow. In fact, there were so many ingredients that went into it that I could barely get it all in the blender. Speaking of blenders...you need a FULL SIZE one, not an individual one like the Magic Bullet. And it had better be a pretty good one, otherwise you'll be consuming chunky, cold soup!  

By midday, I was starting to feel some "side effects". I started to get a splitting headache. That was the hardest part of the day. I also struggled with the fact that it was one of those frigid cold days and I was out and about a lot. Normally, I can handle it better, but since all I was eating were cold smoothies I was a little irritated. By evening, all I wanted was a bowl of nice hot soup!  The detox bath did help and I had another cup of green tea at night. 

Day 2 - This day was the most bizarre day. I had this strange flushed feeling all day and I still had the headache until the afternoon. Also, on this day I figured out that the dinner drink was my favorite, so I had that as my snack, as well. Loved the cayenne pepper in the drink. It gave it a little kick. Also, by this day I was feeling a little extra fatigued. My workout in the morning was a real struggle. About halfway through this day is when the detox really started to kick in, or shall I say...the elimination process. 

Day 3 - The morning was kind of hard. I was a little queasy and definitely felt like I needed to be close to a bathroom. It never did get "ugly" though. Thank goodness! I will say this (without being too graphic)...what goes in must come out! Okay, enough said!  By nighttime, I was really wanting to eat something that didn't come through a straw. I have a new respect for anyone who has to have their jaw wired shut.  A liquid diet gets old pretty quickly. 

So that's the gist of it. I'm glad I did it for the following reasons:

1.  It got me back on track to eating healthy. 

2.  It reminded me of the fact that food in its natural state is really good.

3.  I just felt overall healthier for doing it. 

4. It helped me break the desire for sugar and wheat, two things I want to eat less of and I don't even crave them at this point. 

Although losing weight wasn't my primary goal, I did lose about 4 pounds. But, I don't consider this weight as fat loss. It was more water weight. It did help clothes fit a little better, so that's a bonus! 

Here's something else to consider...credit to Dr. Oz, but I'd like to one-up him on one thing...using the three days to "cleanse" spiritually. It's good to go into this plan with scripture to mediate on through out it. There are moments of weakness during the detox, but letting those moments be a springboard for focusing on Christ builds strength and faith, kind of like a spiritual fast. 

Here are the side effects I experienced while doing the detox: headaches, fatigue, irritability, flushed feeling, and slight nausea. Keep in mind this is an elimination of toxins. Just like with a heroine addict...it's going to challenge the body, but the outcome is worth it. 

Would I do it again? Yes, but with clean eating (hopefully) it shouldn't be a regular practice. 

What do you value, Ladies?

I'm inspired to write this post for two reasons.  First, with my daughters in mind, I see a real social issue that I want to avoid.  Second, the Holy Spirit seems to be nudging me on this topic, and when the Holy Spirit "speaks"...well, it can be like a constant nagging.  But none the less, I feel compelled to write on it...

If there is one thing, in this day and age, that I want my daughters to know it is this:

Your value does not come from how many "likes" you get.  Your value does not come from how many "friends" or "followers" you have.  Your value does not come from posting scantily-clad pictures of yourself on the internet for all the world to "oogle" at.  No, your value comes from the One who created you.  The One who knit you together in your mother's womb.  The One who knew you before anyone in the world knew you.  He created you beautiful in His image.

I know it's tempting to take a picture here, but please....don't!

So, why do I feel the need to share this with you.  Because, my friends, we are living in an era when values are down-spiraling like a meteor headed for earth.  This "look at me" society we have created has forever changed the way many of us live our lives.  And...I know how exhausting, frustrating, disappointing, and damaging it can be to put all our energy into how we look and what others think of us.  Personally speaking, it can feel like a rush when we know that all eyes are on us.  But it's temporary and then it controls us and we want more.  The truth of the matter is that beauty is fleeting and we can only chase it for so long.  The Lord knows that eventually it will escape us, yet He will still love us.  Can we say that about all the Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram admirers (or whatever else there is out there now to showcase ourselves with)?

It saddens me to scroll through Facebook and see posts that clearly scream, "I need approval".  Especially when all God wants us to know is that His approval has far more value in it...eternal value.

You see, I am quite passionate about this.  Not just because I am trying to raise our daughters to a "Higher" standard, but also because I know what it's like to be that woman that's way too focused on her outward appearance.  Ladies!!!!  It doesn't have to be so difficult!  We don't have to starve ourselves.  We don't have to fret if we don't find the right outfit.  (Do you know that it used to be my very first thought if I had any place to go, "WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?  I HAVE TO BUY A NEW OUTFIT!") We don't have to spend $$$$ on beauty treatments, hair styles, and the latest miracle anti-aging serums. And we certainly don't have to go seeking approval.  Like I said, it gets to be exhausting.  Not only that, but I believe it disappoints God.

Now, this doesn't mean we're to turn in the opposite direction and start shopping at Walmart in our pajamas!  I still believe it is important to exercise regularly, eat healthy, and put an effort into what we wear.  But, with that said, we certainly don't have to be obsessed with it!

So how can we be happy without having to parade ourselves or strive to look "perfect".  Seek God, seek His wisdom (start with the book of Proverbs), and give it up to Him.  Just let go of the pressure!  Saying, "Lord, all I want is You" is so freeing!  The benefit is a richer, deeper walk with Christ, more authentic relationships, and a whole LOT less disappointment!

The Gospel according to Hollywood

The other day I watched a movie about a young woman who was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  It was a sad, tear-jerker of a movie.  Yes, I cried, but not because of the drama that was played out.  I can't help but cry when I think about how wrong the world has it when it comes to death.

The movie focused on a young woman's life and the relationships she had with friends and family.  She was single, successful, independent, strong, and "loose" (for a lack of a better term).  She prided herself on the intention to stay single and be able to "hook-up" when ever she wanted.  She was the picture of what society expects the 21st century woman to be.  I won't even go into how far we've fallen off the morality wagon there. 

In the movie, the woman's view of God was Woopie Goldberg and heaven, of course, was big fluffy, white clouds in the sky overlooking the world below (pretty original, huh).  That's the disturbing part.  People, by and large, want to get their spiritual information from the delusional minds that pump these movies out purely for entertainment.  Newsflash!!! Life and eternal life, for that matter, are not dictated by Hollywood or anyone else for that matter.  Only God Almighty has the true version of it and He gave us a whole book on the matter. It happens to be the best selling book ever, but for some reason, I don't think everyone is reading it.  Huh...go figure...

In this particular movie, there was no question about whether or not there was a God, except for when this woman posed the question to the guy she was sleeping with (oh, and of course, falling in love with).  His response was basically, "I dunno know".  And then she replied, "I admire people who have faith.  They're so sure of what they believe."  (That's not word for word.  I'm just paraphrasing.)  That was the best line of the whole movie though!  Yes, we are sure and YES, it is faith.  But it's also truth, proven truth.  The problem is, most people don't want to accept the truth.

There are only two destinations when we die, Heaven or hell.  There is only one true God, Jesus Christ.  People refuse to believe it because they don't want to give up living life by their rules.  They want their pleasures and don't want to give them up.  They think when they have to give them up then life is no longer fun.  I know I didn't want to give up what I enjoyed.  Then, when I finally let go of it, I realized the freedom in giving up those desires.  I realized the joy in pleasing God.  I realized His love for me was so much more important than seeking ungodly relationships, seeking entertainment in dark and depressing meat-market bars, and living life on my terms.  I realized the true blessing of letting go.

What really had me in tears while watching this movie is that I know so many people like the main character.  They think that they are "pretty good" and they deserve Heaven.  They are not concerned in the least that there might be a chance that they could live in eternal torment...alone...without any loved ones and without God. They think they are okay in thinking that there is a higher power, but they aren't really interested in knowing too much about him.  They'll play it "safe" and pray once in awhile, but don't really know how or what to pray to.  They'll do some good deeds, like volunteer at a shelter or give money to a charity.  They think that will score some points with whoever is in charge "up there".

How do they know this is the way it is?  Because the all knowing minds that produce their entertainment make "feel good" movies.  And if it feels good, it must be right...right???

Here's the thing...it's wrong!  So wrong! I hate that so many people are steered in this wrong direction.  I hate that they don't want to open up a Bible and seek the truth.  I hate that people I love will miss out.  It's as if the Holy Spirit gives me a vision of tormented souls and it shakes me to the core, because I want nothing more than for everyone I know to accept Christ's invitation for eternal life with Him...in paradise.  It's the only way to get there.  Sadly, it's not a very popular idea to sell in the movie industry.  Even sadder, there will still be more movies than will lead people away.  In all fairness, though, we can't blame the "big bad Hollywood" for a person's wrong thinking.  In the end...each person has a choice and no one can make it for them.